Confidence is Sexy

Confidence is sexy.  I can’t say it any more directly than that.  Women love to see confidence in their men.  Not arrogance (confidence + superiority), or cockiness (confidence + vanity), but just plain confidence with a dash of humility.

At the heart of confidence, and especially confidence that is not arrogance or cockiness, is self-esteem.  Self-esteem is a person’s evaluation of their own self-worth and is the kernel that confidence forms around.  Sometimes a lack of confidence is an important safety mechanism – it might be a good idea that you aren’t confident that you can drive your car 200 mph!  So when is a lack of confidence natural, and what can you do to increase your confidence?  I had the chance to sit down with two experts this past weekend and explore that very question!!

I spent some wonderful time on Saturday with Drs Leslie Sokol and Marci Fox who have recently published a breakthrough book titled “Think Confident, Be Confident”.  They identified that there is a self-esteem and confidence problem when your feelings are keeping you from doing something that you believe you should normally be able to do.  The lack-of-confidence is almost always rooted in same past experience or relationship.  This is great news, because it means that there is a path to achieving the self-confidence you hope for.  Drs Sokol and Fox detail four steps to achieving ultimate confidence:

Step 1: Label It – put a “name” on the lack of confidence and embrace it, for example, if you are not confident about choosing the right restaurant, call it “Restaurant Fear”.

Step 2: Question It – ask yourself if your fear or perceived lack of ability is true.

Step 3: Rethink It – replace your doubt-driven rules with confident beliefs

Step 4: Take Action – get out of your head and change your behavior!

 

Men, if you lack confidence in any important areas, then pick up this book!!