Kelleher International

Planning an Engagement: Part 2 of 2

Congratulations!  This is the second installment of a post I started a week ago for lucky couples that are thinking about becoming engaged this Fall.  In the last post [read here] we talked about the importance of "making a memory" during the engagement and divided the experience into two parts: THE PROPOSAL, and AFTER THE PROPOSAL. 

After the Proposal is how you are going to take the thrill of moment and magnify it by 10X, the secret to [read more]

Elite Athletes Seek Elite Coaching

Did you catch our segment on ESPN?  An elite athlete like Terrell Owens knows how to hire the right coaches and advisors to make him the best at whatever he chooses to do.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is finding love a sprint or a marathon?

This weekend is the New York City Marathon.  If you’ve never had the chance to experience it first hand, it is worth the trip to Manhattan to navigate the throngs of Central Park (you have to be near the finish line!) and be witness to hours of personal triumphs. 

What lessons in love are there to be learned from the NYC marathon?  Is romance a sprint or a marathon?

I won’t try to overplay the metaphor, but there are many parallels:

• The initial thrill: just like the runners first crossing the Verrazano Bridge to start the race, there is high adrenaline on your first couple of dates with a new romance

[read more]

Do you have what it takes to date an Alpha female?

Kelleher International is an amazing network of the highest achieving singles in business, sports, entertainment, education and philanthropy.  It’s wonderful to work with the "elite and eligible" from every corner of the globe and help them find “the One”.  We've all seen the books, articles and new stories about the powerful “Alpha Male” and what makes them tick, and our network is full of these incredibly successful men.

But our network is also full of wildly accomplished women.  Whether they are [read more]

 

FOUR WAYS TO PREPARE TO MEET "THE ONE"

At Kelleher International we meet very few singles who want to be alone. I hear a lot of excuses as to why people are alone; I receive a lot of promises that “next month I’m going to get serious”; and mostly I watch the weeks turn into months and (sometimes unfortunately) turn into years without some singles taking the first steps necessary to find “The One”.

If this is you, then I say that this is the day to change your strategy of “hope” into “do”, and begin down the road to finding your great match. To get this started, and to set yourself up for a lifetime of happiness, I want you to do four things:

Say Goodbye to the Past Congratulations on your decision and commitment to finding “The One” --  it is the most important thing you will ever do. But before you can open your heart to new possibilities, you have to release yourself from past successes and failures in love. No new relationship can compete with the romanticized-memory of some past amor, and no potential romance should pay the penalty for any past love that didn’t work out. Wash away the past and begin this next chapter free and clear!

Focus on Values As part of the Membership process at Kelleher International, we work closely with our clients to identify those important characteristics in a match that will make for a lifetime of happiness. If you have talked to us even once about our network, I’m sure one of the first things we did was to try to get you to shed your old dating checklist and just focus on the two or three things our matchmakers need to look for in a match that line up with your values. Values are the path the love, checklists are the path to grocery shopping.

Expect Success You attract what you project. You receive what you radiate. This isn’t some new age visualization advice, this is just a reality of human nature. There is something in the natural attraction that occurs between men and woman that is amplified by positive expectations. I can’t tell you if it’s pheromones or Cupid’s arrows, I can just tell you that after more than two decades bringing together elite singles all across the globe that without positive expectations, our clients almost never enjoy positive results.

Select the Expert.   It’s very simple. You work with a personal trainer to stay fit. You hire a search firm for your business expansion. You seek a specialist when looking for medical advice. Your love life is no different.  The most important decision of your life is who you spend your life with.  Kelleher International is the most experienced team of professional matchmakers in the country. We search daily through our exclusive database of the most eligible single menand women and arrange exciting dates in romantic cities.  What are you waiting for? Isn't it time we select your perfect match?  For the most important things in your life you reach out to the professionals that can help you be successful. It is no different when searching for “the One”; you should seek help from great professionals that can help you find love.

Today could be the day you start down the path to love – take action and call now for your free consultation!  1-800-401-MATCH (6282)

It's already June...

It’s hard to believe that it's almost July! The sweet days of Summer are in full swing and the Fourth of July is just around the corner. By now I’m sure you’ve heard ten other people say “I can’t believe it’s the end of June” and reflect on a year that has flown by.

We’re all the busiest we’ve ever been – the economy is crazy, technology has us connected 24/7, there are always another ten things on the todo list – and this makes the days seem long and the months seem short. 

It's time for a reality check... [read more]

 

You brought a friend on our date?

In some cultures, three is not a crowd!  One thing I love about  Kelleher International is that second word – International.  We make matches across time zones, countries and continents and when we put two people together, whether they are 35 miles apart or 3,500, we connect a broad set of dating backgrounds and expectations.

Our role as Matchmakers is to guide our clients as best we can in navigating the waters of global dating.  If you find yourself in the middle of a group date, here are some thoughts on what comes next...

[Read more]

Presidential reccomendation: stop wasting time doing online dating...

I caught a couple of clips from a commencement address President Obama delivered at an historically black college this past weekend.  He shared insights and inspirations, admonitions and encouragements to prepare this group for a bright future.  About three-fourths of the way through his address, he looked into the crowd and warned that "online dating is a distraction".  In our age of 24/7 connectivity, the experience had evolved to where “information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment rather than a tool of empowerment.”

[read more]

Happy Mother's Day!

Today I am going to go off the normal topics of dating, romance and finding the love of your life in tribute to Mother’s Day.  I wish you could know the joy that I have of working side-by-side every day with one of the most wonderful women I know – my mom, Jill Kelleher.  For more than two decades she has dedicated her life to the bringing together of two hearts and the magical concept of finding “The One” and it has been a thrill and an inspiration to work with her.

Mother’s Day is celebrated the world-over from Ireland to India to New Zealand to Mexico and the U.S., and this great day of recognition and joy should last all year long.

At Kelleher International we want to extend a universal “thank you” to all of the Moms out there and let you know how much we appreciate your relentless dedication. 

Some of our most fabulous female clients bring children with them to the Kelleher Family, and so I often get questions around this time of year from our men asking how to engage a new romance on Mother’s Day.  It is a slightly peculiar holiday in that it centers less around the general gathering of family that might warmly welcome in new members, and instead is centered on a specific mother-child relationship.  My advice at this time is very simple: offer to join her on this special day because you celebrate her as a mother which is an important part of your connection, but also offer up an out for her to decline your invitation.  If she invites you along, participate in the celebration but be sure to allow the mother/child relationships to take center stage.  And if she chooses instead to be alone with her children, accept graciously and don’t read any more into it than she is a wonderful woman who loves her children.

Happy Mother’s Day!  We Love You!

Preparing for a First Date

First Dates have a bad rap.  It's time to rebrand the First Date and set yourself up for greater success and enjoyment.

Starting Point: The world is full of interesting people, and the only way you can enjoy the full glory of that is to meet them.  Almost everyone on earth has at least a few hours of “interesting” in them. So the better prepared you are to find those nuggets of gold, the more you will enjoy those first dates and bring a fresh attitude and energy to them.  Also, how many times would you be willing to spend three hours with someone if there was a 5% chance you could win $1MM.  Now replace that pile of money with the phrase “a lifetime of love” and going on a handful of first dates seems like a very small investment.

Prepping for Success: now that we have adjusted our perspectives and are eagerly anticipating our next first date, it's time to do three simple things to make the most of the night:

• Date #1 is a Marketing Event – what's your Brand?  Picture our date on the phone tomorrow with her best girlfriend answering the question “so how was he?”  What do you want her answer to be?  Think about your best characteristics (what really makes you, YOU) and make sure they become part of the evening’s discussion.  If a characteristic is that you're “well-traveled”, tell her about a trip you took and what it meant to you.  If you want her to remember you as “intellectually curious”, tell her about a book you are reading and why you find it so fascinating.  Find ways to weave interesting stories into the conversation that are examples of the virtues you like most about yourself.
   
• Share the “why” along with the “what” – A common mistake of first dates is the resume dump -- getting every job, degree, and professional accomplishment out on the table, in hopes of impressing your date.  Bad idea! Women tend to care more about the "why" than the "what", as that's the path to understanding who you really are. "He went to Harvard Law" leads to "he must be smart", but doesn't create a connection.  However, personal details like "he's fascinated with how the law can be used to empower the less fortunate" gets you both "he's smart" AND "he's passionate about helping others."  The touchy-feely clearly makes you more interesting.  Follow “I moved to NYC after college” with “because I wanted to test myself in the most challenging city in the world."  Color “I never miss Opening Day” with “because baseball, especially the beginning of a new season, reminds me of going to games with my grandfather.”  As you begin to get to know your new match on a first date, also engage her on the "why" of her story.  Ask probing questions that delve deeper into her hopes, dreams, and motivations, and you will be rewarded with much greater insight of what makes her tick -- as well as a more exciting conversation!  You will make much stronger connections with your date as you share your “why’s” and also explore theirs.
  
  
• Date #1 is just that, a date – a date isn’t a thirty-foot jumper at the buzzer, it isn’t an interview, and if it doesn’t work out, there are few repercussions.  Enjoy.  A date is an exciting chance to meet someone new and thrill in the uniqueness of all people. Prepare yourself with the mindset of open opportunity and joy and you will create the greatest potential for making a connection.
  

Now you are ready for a first date and should be eagerly anticipating your next chance at meeting “The One”.

Ask the Matchmaker - Julia

We’re in the middle of both the NHL and NBA playoffs and I feel like I’m already a sports widow (and we’ve only been dating 3 months) – is this a bad sign?

It’s great when guys like sports.  It feels masculine, it builds healthy relationships with other men, it can be a cornerstone of a father/son bond, and more importantly, it can be the impetus for establishing regular “boys’ nights” and “girls’ nights”. 
No matter how wonderfully in love you become and how deep the passion will burn for decades, it will be important for you and your match to maintain some relationships that flourish outside of the two of you as a couple.  Nights out with your ladies will help you hold on to your current identity and pour energy into your relationship. His nights out with the fellas will reinforce his masculinity (also good for you) and stengthen his appreciation for your partnership.

Playoff season doesn’t mean just let him go off with his buddies to drink beers and watch the games -- this is also a chance for you to get to know him better.  I don’t advise that you create a new-found interest for the Philly Flyers (although Mike Richards is very cute), but you can begin to ask your partner more about what formed his love of the games – did he play as a kid, did his dad take him to the games, what role does he think organized sports play in the raising of children.        

So don’t despair, it will all be over in a couple of weeks, and it’s a great opportunity to grow your relationship.

Personal Spring Cleaning

It’s that time of year when I ask my closest clients and reluctant prospects to consider a little Personal Spring Cleaning to prepare them for this next season of love.


First, clean out the gutters – no matter where you are in finding that next special romance (even if you are in early stages with someone), make sure you have cleaned out any lingering “leaves” from past relationships so that you can refocus on the “good” you are seeking, not on the “bad” you hope to avoid.

 

 

Next, sweep out the garage and get rid of the clutter of your endless “check lists” guiding your next romance. Refresh your clarity on the core characteristics you are seeking in a partner that will bring a lifetime of happiness. Center in on the “must haves” that describe the life you want for yourself, and then supplement that with some “nice to haves” to help us find the right person for you.

Finally, change the linens. It is time to put a fresh perspective and energy on your quest for love and meet the Spring with an open and positive attitude. Engaging a Kelleher Matchmaker is better than 1000-count Egyptian cotton.

The right Spring Cleaning will rejuvenate you and put you in the right frame of mind to find your next romance.

Five Fun Winter Dates

Show some creativity at this time of year and take advantage of some of the great date opportunities that are uniquely Winter. 

Ice Skating  Many of us have forgotten how fun it is to ice skate. A little awkward, a little exhilarating, and the perfect excuse to hold hands and fight gravity with your date. You don’t need to live near Rockefeller Center to bundle up and find a great place to rent some blades – make sure to get that great hot chocolate that they only seem to make at ice rinks!

Cozy Bar Call the concierge at your favorite local hotel (in San Francisco The Fairmont never steers me wrong) and ask them to point you toward low lights, big couches, a roaring fireplace, and a drink menu designed to warm you from the core. Then settle in for a long night of intimate conversation talking about your aspirations for the New Year.

 
Hockey Game  Whether or not you’re a sports aficionado, there’s something uniquely electrifying about a hockey match. The two of you will caught up in the energy of a professional sporting event, the great smell of the ice, the marvel of the skating skills of the players, and the very healthy beer and dog combo. Put it on your list for a great winter date.


Pretend You’re Snowed In  Sometimes the best winter dates are inside, far from the whistling winds and chilly temperatures. Start the evening with the two of you cooking some simple comfort food to be shared over a great bottle of red wine. After dinner, light a raging fire and bring out the surprise of graham crackers, marshmallows and some Hershey chocolate bars, and prepare for a delicious evening.


 
Surprise Weekend Getaway  Nothing says “we make our own future” like whisking her away on a spontaneous , luxurious getaway to the sun and sand.  A long weekend at Cap Juluca is one great destination that’s sure to sizzle. Two tips: book the couples massage ahead of time, and give her at least 24 hours notice (we girls love surprises, but also love a little prep time before heading to the beach!).

First Visit to the Relatives

THREE QUICK TIPS

There are many great milestones in a blossoming romance, but few carry the twin Furies of anticipation and anxiety like the first visit to the relatives. Relax! At Kelleher International we have helped thousands of couples navigate the strange waters of meeting the family for the first time, it can be a wonderful experience that further reinforces the reasons that you are in love and adds momentum to your romance.

 

Before you head off, commit to these 3 Quick Tips to ensure a great first family experience.

 

Bring a Gift Whether you are going for 5 days, or 5 minutes, show up with a host/hostess gift in your arms.  Remember, this gift is not a reflection on you as much as a reflection on her.  Let her relatives know that she has selected the right type of guy.  Thoughtful is more important than expensive, and "shareable" gives your gift life beyond the introduction.

Be a Couple Make sure you find "alone time" for you and your partner during the visit.  You aren't visiting, the two of you are visiting, and you need to make sure you make time to connect with each other as much as with the relatives.

Send a Handwritten Thank You Note Simply put, it shows class.

Enjoy the visit!

Second Date Strategies

4 QUICK TIPS

Congratulations! You have made it through the agony and the ecstasy of a first date, and you see potential in this budding romance. Fabulous! At Kelleher International we’ve seen thousands of new couples (it adds up over 23 years) cruise straight on through the “who are you?” of a first date only to struggle with emotions and pressures of date number two.

Why so much drama? The built-in conversation of exchanging backgrounds is finished, the great time you had on the first date has set a high bar, and early thoughts of “I hope he’s nice” have been replaced with “I hope she likes me”. All these things set a great starting point for a wonderful second date. Here are a couple of pointers to get you started:

• Celebrate the First Date Start the date with a quick recap of your favorite parts of the first date. It will set a great tone, show appreciation for the last time you were together, and put you in the great state of mind you were in at the end of that special first date. Drop in phrases like “I laughed so hard when…” or “It was really sweet when you…” or “I couldn’t believe we both…” to celebrate that shared first date

• Share Your Anticipation for the Second Date Let the other person know you were really looking forward to the second date. We’re all a little nervous heading into date number two, and as you put the other person at ease by sharing your anticipation, you will also relax yourself. Don’t get caught up in the dating politics of holding back genuine joy – the path to love is full of shared happiness!

• It's GREAT to talk about "every day" stuff. Every conversation doesn't have to be about world politics or competing theories of cold fusion. The fabric of our lives is woven by our day-to-day activities. Talk about that annoying guy in Accounting or the French bistro around the corner, and then build on the story with a “when I was a kid we used to get croissants at…” or a "have you ever had a ‘guy in Accounting ’ that drove you nuts?” and begin to build bridges between the daily lives of you and your date.

• Plan to "Explore" and Lead the Expedition. A couple of good questions can spark endless vibrant conversation. Think ahead of time of three to five fun questions that will get your date thinking about great moments in the past; for example: “If you were forced to live in a foreign country, which would it be (and why)?”, "What's the best gift you've ever given?", "What's the first concert you ever saw?", "What is the best characteristic you've inherited from your mother?" These will be the conversations that slowly open your hearts to each other.

Welcome to Kelleher International

Whether you are a new client flying off to Paris for your first match or have been happily married for more than twenty years, Kelleher International wants to be your resource to make your journey of love wildly fulfilling, exciting, dynamic, and deeply passionate.

We'll talk about strategies for dating success, navigating relationship land mines, and the mindset it takes to find love and make it blossom.  We will put current events in the context of seeking love and even give you a little window into the match making business and how a centuries-old tradition continues to evolve in our modern world.  The "right one" is out there for you, so check back weekly for updates or follow us on Twitter to make the most of our partnership in your future.

Let us come with you on your journey!

Jill & Amber